Carwash
by Iwanita
Summary: Even Cybertronians get dirty from time to time. When that happens, whom can they rely upon to give them a thorough wash?
1. Wash & Wax

**Summary****:** Probably post ROTF, but it's not really very relevant. Two good friends decide to open a carwash business to help them pay for the bills. Little do they know that they will be attending to very special guests.

**Disclaimer****: **Transformers characters are © to Hasbro. The story is mine.

The idea of this fanfic came up when I was talking with Angelcakes19 about how cool it would be to give Cybertronians carwashes. So, this story is just an excuse to write that, and the two OC's that appear in it are just an excuse to wash them. The plot will be scarce, and the story is to be taken lightly. I only wished to write something funny to make my readers smile, so please, don't be harsh on me.

Please enjoy, and don't hesitate to leave a comment if you want to make any suggestions.

* * *

Chapter 1: Wash and Wax

A young woman, probably in her early twenties, stood over a step ladder, her hands resting on her hips and a proud expression on her face. In front of her, hung the object of her admiration: a neon sign that read 'Wash & Wax' with beautiful and elegant letters.

"I just hope it doesn't fall on anyone." Said another woman, standing on the floor, her arms crossed across her chest and slight worry on her features.

"Of course it won't!" The woman on the stepladder whirled around and looked down to her partner. "I'm the drill master." She exclaimed cheerfully, pulling out said tool and making it spin. "Now, light it up! I want to see it in all its glory."

"Okay, but come down before you fall from there."

"In. All. Its. _Glory_!" She insisted, eyes shining in anticipation.

The woman on the floor gave an aggravated sigh and went to the fuse box, inspecting the switches until she found the one she was searching for. She switched it on and...

The whole shop was left in the shadows.

"Argh! For the love of...! Helen, you are supposed to be the scientist!" The woman on the stepladder exclaimed in exasperation.

"I'm still a student. A _biology_ student... what does that have to do with electricity?" Helen complained, pulling a flashlight from a pocket and inspecting the labels inside the fuse box more closely.

"I don't know! Just do something quick before I fall from here!"

"I told you to-"

"NOW!"

The argument was cut short by a sudden shorting sound and a shower of sparks flying out of the fuse box, immediately followed by a loud thud that could only mean someone falling to the floor.

"Helen!" The woman near the sign climbed off the stepladder in a single jump and went to the unconscious woman on the floor. Checking for a pulse, she let out a relieved sigh when she noticed that her partner was still breathing. "Helen, wake up!" She gave her a not too gentle slap.

"Angel?" Helen murmured, bleary eyes focusing on the other woman above her before glancing at their surroundings. "Oh hey, I fixed the lights!" She added, coming to a sitting position. The shop and the sign were lit.

"Girl, you gave me a good scare." Angel smiled, messing Helen's long and curly hair, now fuzzier than usual.

Both of them gave relieved sighs as they sat on the floor looking at the bright neon-green sign of their recently acquired business. Angel was studying languages, and Helen, biology. They had met one day jogging in the park, and had gradually become good friends. Sometime after that, they had decided to open a carwash business to help them pay for the bills. It had taken some initial investment, but today, their shop was finally ready to be open to the public.

"So, how are we going to attract our customers?" Helen asked after a while.

"Oh, I've got that covered." Angel winked an eye. "I've put an advertisement on the internet."

"Will that be enough?"

"I'm sure it will. I added some pics."

Helen looked suspiciously at her business partner.

* * *

**[****A****/****N****]:** And with that, the introduction is set. The next chapters will be featuring each one a different mech. Feel free to make suggestions!

**PD****:** Thanks to Angelcakes19 for beta-reading this!


	2. Bumblebee

Chapter 2: Bumblebee

Sam stared with discomfort at his best Cybertronian friend and guardian, guilt written all over his features.

"This is all my fault..." He groaned, plopping down to sit on the kerb of the pavement.

Sam worked as a liaison between the Autobots and the human government, and on this precise day, he had a meeting with the Secretary of Defence. Bumblebee had been assigned to take him to the meeting, but their trip seemed to be predestined to failure from the beginning.

It all had started with an alarm that had not beeped at the correct time, resulting in a late departure. Because of that, and in order to save time, Sam had had to drink his morning coffee inside Bumblebee (Primus bless Judy for preparing the thermo), but also because of that, they had to stop at a service station midway because Sam needed to go to the bathroom. That resulted in more wasted time, and they were already running short of it. And of course, the highways were jammed that early in the morning.

In a stroke of inspiration, Sam had suggested taking an alternative route, using a secondary road, but they had not counted on the state of said road after the heavy storm of the week before. Most of the water had already dried, but there was still mud. And what was even worse: fresh mud beneath what at first sight seemed like dry ground. The worst of traps.

"We can't go to an official meeting with you like that." Sam buried his face in his hands, unable to bear the sight of the vibrant yellow marred with splashes of brown and caked mud any longer.

"I've contacted Secretary Keller. I've told him that the highways are jammed and that we will be a little late, which is true. He understands the situation and told me to hurry up, but keep it safe." The yellow Camaro spoke, trying to be helpful.

Sam was silent for a few seconds, his expression that of being in deep thought. "Okay." He frowned, suddenly rising from his sitting position. "I did not give up when Megatron was chasing me to snatch the Cube away, and I'm not going to give up now."

"That's the spirit!" The yellow car cheered, the song 'We are the champions' playing through his speakers.

"Bumblebee, search the Internet and look for the nearest carwash."

It only took three seconds for Bumblebee to finish his search.

"There's a new one not too far from here. It won't divert us from our course too much." He informed him.

"Oh, a new one?" Sam said, as he climbed inside his ride, mindful to not dirty his suit.

"Yes, they opened a couple of days ago. The advertisement also had some pics. It looks like a nice place."

"Can I see them?" Sam asked, curious.

"Of course." Bumblebee replied, lighting a holographic screen and displaying the pics.

Sam almost choked. "I don't think it would be very wise to go to that kind of carwash..."

* * *

"Angel, I'm not going out wearing that..." Helen said, inspecting the poor excuse of a bikini that her friend had handed her. Beautiful, yes. But _scarce_.

"My dear friend, our customers come here expecting to see something that we aren't currently offering." Angel replied, tying up her long straight hair in a neat ponytail. "And that is giving us negative publicity."

"But... but why would they expect to find that here? This is not _that_ kind of carwash..." Helen trailed off and suddenly went silent, the gears in her mind turning as her expression changed from suspicion to realization. Angel grimaced slightly, knowing what was about to come. "Wait. You mentioned you added some pics. What kind of pics did you put on that advertisement?"

Whatever excuse Angel might have prepared, was never voiced as a loud honk distracted them from their argument.

"Finally!" She exclaimed gleefully. "A customer!" She picked up the bikini and threw it in Helen's face before dashing to the door. "Put that on."

"But... Angel!" Helen tried to protest.

"Helen." Angel stopped suddenly, turning on her heel to regard her partner with a serious expression. "We are not selling our bodies. We are just offering a nice view while we offer our services." She crossed her arms across her chest. "The bills do not pay themselves and we really need the money if we want to continue our careers at the university." Helen bit her lip and lowered her gaze to the floor. "We are young and still have nice bodies. Let us take advantage of that while we still can." And with that, she left the room, headed for the entrance of the shop.

"Okay..." Helen murmured to himself, picking up the offensive piece of clothing.

* * *

"Good morning and welcome to Angel and Helen's wash and wax! How can we help-oh goodness!" Angel had her most charming smile plastered on her face to meet her first customer but it all went down the creek when she caught sight of the car. "What happened to that poor baby?!"

"Well..." Sam grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck in a shameful gesture. "The highways were jammed, so we-I mean, I decided to take a secondary road that ended up being a big muddy trap. I'm sure you remember last week's storm..."

Angel waved a hand in the air. "Say no more, my dear. You can't go to work like that." She replied, eyeing the fine suit that the young man was wearing. He seemed to be some kind of important businessman, maybe a car-dealer, judging from his sweet ride. Her eyes shone at the expectation of money.

Helen chose that moment to arrive, wearing the damned bikini, but under her shorts and t-shirt.

"Hello, sir." She greeted the young man with a polite nod.

"Helen, would you be a dear and bring mister..." Angel started to say, but trailed off when she realized she hadn't asked the young man's name yet.

"Just call me Sam." He smiled. He still felt too young to be called by his surname.

"Can we offer you a drink while we take care of your car?"

"A diet coke would be great, thank you." He replied. Inside Bumblebee, he had air conditioner, but outside his cabin, temperatures were already reaching serious levels.

"Diet coke it is!" Angel made a gesture to Helen, and she flew to the kitchen to fetch their first customer his drink. "While Helen is gone, let's move your car to the washing area, shall we?"

Sam nodded, climbing again inside his ride and driving Bumblebee to the designated place. Of course it was all theatrics, and his Cybertronian friend drove himself, but he needed to play along.

"So, what is it going to be?" Angel asked, preparing the hose, the soap and the sponges. "We can wash the outside, vacuum the interiors, wax and polish..."

"I'm afraid I'm already late for work, so it will only be the outside." Sam smiled apologetically as he came out of the car.

"Oh. What a pity," Angel pouted. "But you really should come sometime for the complete service." She regained her charming smile.

"I'll do what I can."

Helen arrived with the drink and offered it to Sam. The young man took a seat nearby, a little worried about his Cybertronian companion. Until now, Bumblebee had only been washed in the automatized wash racks at the Autobot Base. Even Sam had not dared to offer his friend a wash, and the Camaro was, to foreign eyes, _his_ car. Bumblebee had stated that he didn't mind it at all, but still, Sam felt as if it was an invasion of his privacy. To his eyes, it was the same as a guy bathing another guy. Which in itself wasn't wrong... if they were a couple. But just the thought of him giving Bumblebee a wash, knowing the car was sentient... felt a little... _awkward_.

"Oh!" Helen exclaimed suddenly, pulling Sam from his musings.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing." The curly-haired woman replied, resuming her work with a big sponge. "The suspension just lowered a little and took me by surprise." And it was true. The Camaro had its frame almost resting on the floor.

"Ah, it has one of those automatic suspensions. It lowers when you go fast, and rises when the terrain is uneven." Sam explained a little too quickly. "When it's parked it also goes to the lowest position by default."

"Cool. It must be a very expensive car."

_Oh__, __if __you __only __knew__._ He thought. Legally, Bumblebee had only cost him four thousand dollars, but that had been before he found out how priceless he actually was. Then, remembering the issue at hand, Sam extracted his phone from the pocket of his jacket and started to write a text message.

'Sam: U ok, buddy?'

'BBB: Samuel James Witwicky!'

Sam grimaced involuntarily. Bumblebee seemed to have picked up one of his mother's habits: Calling him by his full name when he was about to scold him about something he had done wrong. Not that the yellow scout had ever scolded him before, but in his mind it had sounded like that.

'BBB: With all the time we have been friends and you have never done this to me!'

'Sam: uhh... sorry?'

Sam was a bit lost. He didn't know if Bumblebee was mad at him or not.

'BBB: This is GREAT! SO much better than the automatic wash racks at Base!'

Heaven. Bumblebee was in heaven. The hose shot a high pressure stream of water that washed off the mud and massaged his armour plates. And it was _warm_! They were using warm water! Why in the Pit didn't they have warm water in their Base?

And after that, the soapy sponge, soft and gentle, rubbing circles over his hood, along his doors, so relaxing... He could have fallen into recharge with that. The two girls put great care into every detail, even cleaning his vents and tires.

"Well, there is only one part left." Angel said, pressing a big red button in a control panel at the end of the room. Bumblebee tensed as he felt himself be lifted into the air. He had been parked on a platform that was now being raised into the air. "You remembered to put the handbrake on, did you?" She asked, turning to look at the young man, who was currently staring in shock at the Camaro. "Sam...?"

"Uh... y-yeah, I put it on... What's that for?"

"To clean the undercarriage." Angel explained, matter-of-factly. "It gets especially muddy down there, see?" She pointed to the mud-caked mechanisms.

"Okay... I was just a little... surprised. I've only seen those lifts used to do repairs."

"We like to do our job thoroughly." She winked before turning on the hose and pointing it to the undercarriage of the car.

Bumblebee's pistons tensed and he tried to remain very still while the two girls cleaned his underside with the high-pressure water, which was proving to be quite difficult because it tickled like hell.

"Did you hear something?" Helen asked suddenly.

"How can you hear anything over the sound of the hose?" Angel asked in return.

The curly-haired woman shrugged and continued her assault with the pressure hose, now near the housing of the tires.

This time it was Angel who heard something. "Wait, I think I just heard a... giggle...?"

"Oh, it was me, sorry." Sam intervened quickly, waving his phone into the air. "I was checking the Internet and I came across a funny video of a cat playing a piano."

Angel laughed in amusement. "The Internet is made of cats, indeed." Then, she turned her hose to the last piece that needed to be cleaned. The underside of the rear bumper.

Bumblebee gave a very undignified squeak and rolled backwards in pure reflex. The two girls watched in sheer terror as the car started to fall from the platform, but before it crashed, the Camaro seemed to break apart, gears and bodywork shifting with a sound of machinery working.

What landed neatly on the floor was no longer a Camaro.

It was a robot. A big ass robot.

The two women gaped for the longest of minutes at the mechanical creature, frozen in place, eyes wide, hose still shooting a high-pressure stream of water towards the ceiling that came down as an indoors rain.

Sam could only stare in sheer horror at the prospective of a double scold from the Secretary of Defence. For being late, and for blowing Bumblebee's cover in front of two civilians.

"Sorry... that tickled..." The huge yellow robot said sheepishly.

Sam did a facepalm. He was so slagged...

"Argh, it can speak!" Angel was the first one to regain the ability to form coherent words.

"Please, please, don't freak out! He's a friend, and he is not going to hurt anyone." Sam intervened quickly before the panic could escalate.

"It's one of those things that were on TV a year ago! People started to freak out saying they were aliens, and the Government said it was a conspiracy theory mixed with the setup of a movie!" Angel shrieked, stabbing an accusatory finger at the mech.

Helen, on the contrary, had finally reacted, cutting off the water and slowly approaching to their unexpected guest, mouth hanging half open in awe.

"Are you really an alien robot?" She asked softly, eyes shining with what could only be described as the shine a biologist got when discovering a new species. Which technically wasn't very far from the truth.

"Yes."

"Did you... did you enjoy the wash?" She asked timidly.

"Absolutely." Bumblebee grinned, giving her a thumbs-up, trying to be as non-threatening as possible. "Except the part with the undercarriage. That tickled a lot."

"Sorry about that." The young woman smiled apologetically.

"Helen!" Angel snarled indignantly, throwing a wet sponge at Helen, who turned just in time for the sponge to hit her square in the face, making the poor woman fall to the floor, landing on her ass with a squeak of surprise. "Come back here you idiot, it could be dangerous!"

Helen grimaced at the awful taste of the soap and coughed up a couple of bubbles.

"I've told you he's friendly!" Sam tried again, stepping beside Bumblebee and patting one of his legs for emphasis.

Angel's frown softened slightly, but she still seemed hesitant. "So... the Government is involved with them?"

"Yes." Sam sighed. "They are stuck here. They can't go back to their planet. I'm sorry, I cannot give you many details. Everything is top secret."

Angel's eyebrows shot up at that statement. "So... this is the part where the government pays us a shit load of money to keep our mouths shut?" She had a devious grin on her face, a hand rubbing her chin in a thoughtful gesture.

"Oh, for god's sake! They are going to fire me!" Sam whined, burying his face in his hands.

"Angel, don't be mean. They don't have anywhere else to go." Helen pouted, giving her friend her best puppy eyes, hands clasped and imploring.

"Please." Even the yellow robot, who she had to admit had a face that was... kind of cute in some weird sort of way, was giving her the alien-robot-version of the puppy eyes, with wide bright blue optics.

"Argh! Alright, alright..." Angel finally relented, huffing in annoyance, blowing away a wisp of hair that had fallen across her face. "But I expect you to leave a nice tip. We really need the money." She confessed, her shoulders sagging.

"I think I have a good idea that could be beneficial for everyone." Bumblebee said suddenly, making all eyes turn to him.

"I'm all ears, my metal friend." Angel raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I have many friends that could enjoy a good wash." The yellow mech offered. "And I am certainly coming back another day for the complete service." He winked an optic.

* * *

**[****A****/****N****]:** And from now on, our Cybertronian friends have a nice place to visit when they are in need of a good wash. Feel free to make suggestions about which mech should be washed next!

**PD****:** Thanks to Angelcakes19 for beta-reading this!


End file.
